How to write a business book people actually read

In the waste bin of unwanted presents, or the piles of unread books by the bedside table, few occupy as much space as 'business books' written by industry practitioners.

Everyone in this sector will have experienced that heart sinking feeling when an 'author', giddy on their self-aggrandising achievements and bursting with pride on their apparent benevolence, passes a copy of their mighty tome from their clammy hands. This disappointment is only matched by the fear when, short weeks later, they will inevitably and eagerly ask: "What did you think of it?".

Chris Satterthwaite, the clever and kind former CEO of Chime Communications (among other achievements), knows all this. And that's why his 'business book' is instead a comedy novel, but one that still promises to identify the "Eleven-and-a-half Habits of Entirely Accidental Entrepreneurs".

Unveiled at VCCP this week, his book – The Poetry Café – has variously been described as "The weirdest business book you'll ever read and definitely the funniest" (A. Coleman) and doing for entrepreneurship "what Clarkson's Farm has done for farming" (R. Howell). But beneath the humour lies a more serious (if subtly delivered) message about the habits of entrepreneurship that business leaders will find useful – 11 and a half of them, in fact.

Given how, according to the Global Entrepreneur Monitor, a little under one in three UK adults now either run their own business or plan to start one within the next three years, it's particularly timely. Here, Satterthwaite talks through his comic satire about love, family, how to get lucky in starting a business, and how to write a business book that people will actually want to read.

Chris, please tell us about your book.

The novel follows the story of Marcus Aelred Darrington, who starts The Poetry Café, following a branding archetype based on Beyonce’s watermelon water (wtrmlnwtr.) As his wife always predicted, ‘Th ptry cf’ is always mistaken as The Pottery Café. Worse, opening opposite a Coffee Empire outlet, one of the world’s leading Coffee house brands, they set out to destroy his highly individual format.

However, the harder the Coffee Empire tries to destroy the Pottery Café, the more it succeeds through an unlikely team led by the founder’s wife Mariella. There are Baristas who seduce customers with their latte art, an unintelligible Scottish chef whose Cullen Skink becomes legendary, and a one-eyed pug called Wordsworth who participates in Poetry recitals with Tenner the poet washer upper.

Eventually, the Pottery Café is so successful through its provenance poetry and pug platform that Coffee Empire try to buy the format. But will Marcus and Mariella sell and conform to the mass outlet approach Coffee Empire run in thousands of outlets around the world. Will they hell. After all as Shakespeare said, ‘No profit grows where no pleasure is taken.’ Poetry or Pottery whichever was you like to see it, wins the day.

Why did you decide to write it?

I’ve always wanted to write a book. When I stood down from Chime and went plural I had time to do so.

Why have you decided to write this as a comedic novel rather than a straightforward business book?

It’s generally accepted that most business books aren’t finished by the reader. Often chapter 1 is all that is read. I thought if the novel was funny and you liked the characters there was a better chance that people would read the whole book including the eleven and a half habits of entirely accidental entrepreneurs.

Are the characters based on anyone we’d know and can you tell us (or drop any hints)?

Most of the characters are initially based on someone you know. Mariella the hero of the book who swears in every sentence is based on a friend who was asked if she had Tourettes when in fact she just likes swearing. There is one character from an advertising agency: Hermione Bonjour with eyes as blue as a renaissance angel. She’s not based on anyone specifically but adland does have some fabulous names.

Do you think that an element of “madness” helps in entrepreneurs and if so why?

The comment about the book I am most pleased with is from Charles Vallance who says of the book: "Chris has a gift for making sound business advice sound unbusinesslike." Habit 4 is, ‘Build a community of weirdness.’ That sounds a bit mad, but so does referring to communities of fans as Dead Heads or Swifties. Great brands create tribes with weird points of identification. That’s why people like showing their Monzo card or know that the red label on their butts show they know a thing or two about jeans. Mad really.

What in your experience would be the benefits of being "an accidental entrepreneur"? Do you think you can run a successful business without a plan?

Most entrepreneurs I’ve worked with are instinctive thinkers and move to action without over thinking. They have plans in their head of how they can do something new or better. They assess risk as they go along. Too many established businesses think too much and experiment in real time too little.

More and more people will be starting businesses out of necessity as the working world change. What would be your one piece of advice to anyone looking to start an advertising agency today?

Habit 11.5. ‘Everyone has a special skill: use it. Build a fellowship of different skills around you especially if they get their T shirt dirty.’

What has been your single greatest moment of pride when it comes to your corporate career?

Identifying VCCP as the agency of the future when Chime made the acquisition in 2005.

If you were to actually open a cafe what would be your signature menu item?

As it says in the book: ‘We don’t want scrawny menus, we want full-to-the-brim ones. We don’t want stewed coffee turning to gravy, we want freshly ground Brazilian served Americano, espresso, latte or macchiato. We don’t want toasted sandwiches in plastic packets smelling of bleach, we want breakfasts in season, fresh produce from the regions and a café which understands rhyme as well as reason. We will never park the bus. We will win and entertain. It’s the West Ham Way.’

Copies of The Poetry Café can be purchased online.