Beware The Rift: Why Brands Can't Afford to Ignore the Growing Divide Between Young Men and Women

There's something darkly poetic about launching research on the growing chasm between young men and women on Valentine's Day. Especially when it reveals romance isn't just cooling – it's on ice. But that's exactly what heads of Starling Cultural Insight Annie Auerbach and Adam Chmielowski have done in collaboration with Tapestry Research’s Rebecca Munns and Kevin Thompson by unveiling their seminal findings on what they've dubbed 'The Rift' at Pablo London. 

While dating app fatigue reaches new heights and the 'relationship recession' deepens, this research lays bare a generational divide that's less a gentle drift and more a systemic shift. The facts, when you look at them, tell a story that's impossible to ignore.

Young women are carving out new possibilities, while carrying heavy legacies. They're 50 per cent more likely than their male peers to describe themselves as “independent”, yet this stride forward happens against a backdrop of persistent inequality. Meanwhile, 57 per cent of young men are yearning for a return to traditional gender dynamics – a cultural reverse gear that would make even their fathers pause.

This ideological divide is cemented by our increasingly segregated spaces, both online and off. Algorithmic echo chambers aren't just reflecting our differences; they're amplifying them, creating parallel digital universes where young men and women barely intersect. This separation is mirrored in the real world where meaningful interactions between the sexes have become startlingly sparse – the 'relationship recession' isn't just a catchy phrase - for the young, it's a social reality. 

Then there's the zero-sum thinking that's taken root in our economic uncertainty. When 38 per cent of men under 24 believe women's success comes at their expense (more than double the rate of men over 55), we're not just dealing with a gap – we're facing a chasm. The manosphere and influencer culture feast on these anxieties, serving up competition where we desperately need collaboration against the backdrop of major corporations “quietly” dropping EDI commitments. 

For brands, this isn't just another cultural trend to observe from a comfortable distance. As David Graeber once noted, "The ultimate, hidden truth of the world is that it is something that we make and could just as easily make differently." Even as the marketing landscape shifts away from purpose, brands retain their power to shape cultural narratives – and with that power comes opportunity to heal ‘The Rift’.

Product development, for one, needs to be rewired. The binary of 'for him' and 'for her' feels increasingly absurd in 2025. Just think about deodorants: pink roses and gentle whispers for women; aggressive spices and roaring tigers for 'real men' – all in pursuit of extra shelf space and the insidious 'pink tax'. Caroline Criado-Perez's brilliant 'Invisible Women' has long since exposed the gap in how we design for different genders, and we've barely scratched the surface of inclusive design for all abilities. These manufactured differences don't just reflect cultural divides and past norms – they deepen them.

Our narratives, too, deserve a radical rethink. Have we become so enamored with stories of individual triumph that we've turned every person into their own carefully curated island? In a world that seems intent on rolling back hard-won freedoms, it's crucial to keep celebrating diversity and representation. But perhaps there's a more nuanced path forward. Instead of creating more islands, we need narratives that show how our tides can rise together – stories that bridge divides rather than simply highlighting them. After all, empowerment doesn't have to mean isolation.

The role models we elevate matter more than ever. While Andrew Tate's toxic influence looms large there's a counter-movement brewing. Lee Chambers, director of Male Allies UK, calls for flooding the world with "thousands of positive ways to be a man"; so how can we celebrate the many shades of modern masculinity where strength shows up in a father's gentle hands or a friend's protective instinct? Meanwhile, women's current reality reads like a grimly familiar script: rights under siege, violence an everyday mental calculation, emotional labor still very much unpaid, and the mental load of caregiving heavier than ever. ‘Fempowerment’ has (rather brilliantly) become its own advertising genre, but the mountains women face seem to grow rather than shrink. The answer isn't to pit these narratives against each other, it's about finding the sweet spot where authentic representation doesn't require someone else's erasure. We need to build bridges, not treat it like a zero-sum game.

There is one very bright glimpse of hope in the data: almost 70 per cent of young men and women want to better understand each other. Despite the increasing polarisation of their lives, they want to connect. They want to empathise with one another. This isn't about superficial customer-centricity or demographic data – this reveals an opportunity for brands to create genuine spaces for connection in a world desperate for it.

What 'The Rift' represents is a fundamental restructuring of how an entire generation relates to each other. We have a unique opportunity – and responsibility – to be part of the solution. Through thoughtful product development, new narratives, positive role models, and genuine empathy, we can help bridge this growing divide. The alternative is to remain part of the problem, watching from the sidelines as 'The Rift' widens further.

Chris Turner is the planning director and Lisa Stoney is the deputy chief strategy officer for Pablo.

For more information about this research, please email hello@starlingstrategy.co.uk.